TMF Appreciation Society

Feb 04

Anonymous said: the original 'and isn't this' was written sometime in june or july, i think. i don't know if it was ever posted on ffnet or just to tumblr. the rewrite took place in nov/dec 2011.

Thank you for filling in the blanks!  Hope that helps the other anon. :)

Jan 21

Anonymous said: hello! i was wondering if you or the followers have any idea when "these strange steps" was originally published on FF (or even on tumfs tumblr, since i wasn't aware of the work back then)

Hello! I am going to try to answer your question.

I started following TMF back in late 2011, and she was then in the middle of rewriting And isn’t this exactly where you like me, which would later become These Strange Steps.  She published the rewrite as she wrote it, so it started coming to FF in mid to late 2011.

However, if you are asking about its first form, And isn’t this exactly where you like me, I will have to defer to my followers because I wasn’t following TMF at that time.

Hope that helps!

Nov 19

Epub of the AO3 version of fate is overgrown, TMF’s Keffy fic, with a lot of the errors created by formatting cleaned up: http://www.mediafire.com/?oxx2fjrtnhgdfe2

Nov 16

Anonymous said: Hi there! Thank you for putting up tumfs' work! Could you re-upload the link for "tmf: on Quinn & stripping", please?

Well, you are welcome!  I sure can fix that link! For some reason the link under the Works section stopped working, but the document was always in the Dropbox.  Weird.  Anyway, I fixed the page, so you can access it from that link, straight from the Dropbox, or here. Enjoy!

Nov 04

An open letter to TMF

My name is Lex and I’m an alcoholic.

My low point was considerably higher than most others. I drunk dialed Australia and left a rambling drunken message on the answerphone of my then-girlfriend/common law wife that cost me both money and my decade long relationship. I had beer, lots of beer, and approximately twelve shots of insanely good and expensive whiskey during a whiskey tasting tour. She dropped me via email after we made up and were together for another six months. I’m currently remarried to a woman who completes me in ways that I do not have adequate verbiage to convey, who has helped me through many things I do not have the space to discuss here.

The only reason I’ve not done anything harder than alcohol is because the cost over investment for them is negative, for me. I, essentially, get nothing from them. I currently have a PRN (as needed) prescription for Xanax for completely unrelated and pre-existing PTSD that has been suggested to have been the reason I began drinking (which I would believe had I not begun drinking years prior to the traumatic event.). In the last month, I’ve taken one and a half pills of Xanax - I cut them in half to allow myself a more measured dose on recommendation from my doctor. I know well the emptiness and soothing nature that can come from it, the protective cloud that envelops me and makes the world just a little more okay. I know well the crushing inability to function that comes with anxiety and related disorders. I’ve had Human Resources called on me because my workplace felt I was at risk for opening fire on coworkers when I was having a bad day and just wanted to hide from the world and did not know how to verbalize that desire. I now know to use isolation and medication to curb those meltdowns - I’ve never been a risk for harming others. The paperwork after a massacre is far to cumbersome.

I love beer. I love the taste of beer, I love the warming sensation beer gives me, I adore the way that two beers from the same brewery can have completely different taste profiles. I now, after years of staring at myself in bared honesty and far too many frank discussions about why I felt the need to drink, I am now able to have a beer, or two, or five - decades of drinking have given me a strange tolerance - and decide that no, I am done and would like to go home and have some water, and watch an episode of a good TV show. I used to do some rather more destructive things. I am currently in a good enough place, in a healthy enough place, that I am seriously considering becoming a beer competition judge; akin to a Unix suspendered greybeard, but for beer. The craft beer market can certainly use more, as it can use more cicerones. 

I’m approximately halfway through “these strange steps”, which I located due to a weakness for D/s fic, and for Faberry. The scenes, the emotions, both of the D/s so far, and the addiction…there are not words. I have had tears streaming down my face from the commiseration and flashback, and it’s not bad. I’m able to deal with these emotions and read this story and I’m okay

To say this is a big step would be underselling it. It was a big step when I was able to say “no, I’m going to stay in tonight.” the first time a drinking buddy asked me to DD again. It was a big step when I was able to look at an almost empty bottle and have the unbidden thought that I didn’t have to finish it. I could go to bed, and leave it for another day. It was an amazing day when I went to work and I wasn’t hung over. 

What I am experiencing reading “these strange steps” is nothing like that.

It is catharsis.

Thank you.

I look forward to finding out how Rachel is able to deal with herself when sober and clean, and how she is able to find her way to Quinn again.

Thank you. As an addict. As someone dealing with a lifelong crippling mental disorder. As someone who has had to hide. Something you wrote reached out and touched me in ways illegal in many parts of the world. 

Thank you.

Oct 07

Awww, well this is certainly nice!  Thank you!

Awww, well this is certainly nice!  Thank you!

Sep 28

IBTTRY Music List

Music From “I’ve Been Trying to Reach You” 

CD 1:

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Maps

Marvin Gaye - Ain’t No Mountain High Enough

Adele - Rolling in the Deep

Etta James - At Last

Jonathan Groff and Lea Michele - Hello

Pretty Girls Make Graves - The Get Away

The Get Up Kids - Shorty

Fiona Apple - Oh Well

Sleater-Kinney - One Beat

The Kills - No Wow (MSTRKRFT remix)

Sonic Youth - Chapel Hill

Fall Out Boy - Tiffany Blews

Hard-Fi - Hard To Beat

The Get Up Kids - Forgive and Forget (Red Letter Day EP version)

Rooney - When Did Your Heart Go Missing?

Glee Cast - Somebody To Love (Bieber)

Jay-Z - My 1st Song

Thrice - Silhouette

Sunny Day Real Estate - Every Shining Time You Arrive

Metric - I.O.U.

Stars - Your Ex-Lover Is Dead

Paramore - Miracle Outro (2010 Live Version)

CD 2:

The Sounds - Tony the Beat

Metric - Glass Ceiling

The Joy Formidable - Austere

Fall Out Boy - w.a.m.s

Nada Surf - Blankest Year

Joy Zipper - 1

Foo Fighters - I’ll Stick Around

Matthew Good Band - Running For Home

Nine Inch Nails - Eraser

Panic! at the Disco - There’s a Good Reason These Tables are Numbered, Honey, You Just Haven’t Figured It Out Yet

Paramore - Pressure

Metric - Collect Call

Jeff Buckley - Lover, You Should Have Come Over

The Ataris - I.O.U. One Galaxy

Girls Aloud - Teenage Dirtbag (Wheatus cover)

Kelly Clarkson - Since U Been Gone

Dashboard Confessional - A Plain Morning

Sleater-Kinney - Oh!

The Get Up Kids - Valentine

Keane - With or Without You

Ellie Goulding - Your Song

Sara Bareilles - Gravity

CD 3:

Interpol - Evil

Cassette Kids - Spin

Phoenix - 1901

The Wombats - Kill the Director

Cold War Kids - Mine is Yours

The Cab - I’ll Run

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Maps (acoustic/strings version)

Queens of the Stone Age - Go With the Flow

The Cab - Can You Keep a Secret?

REM - Shiny Happy People

Katy Perry - Firework

Weezer and Hayley Williams - Rainbow Connection

The Cab - Another Me

Fall Out Boy - Of All the Gin Joints in All the World

Paramore - All I Wanted

The Killers - Jenny Was a Friend of Mine

Death Cab For Cutie - You Are a Tourist

Letters to Cleo - Fast Way

Sunny Day Real Estate - Disappear

Rilo Kiley - Pictures of Success

Muse - Starlight

Bloc Party - This Modern Love

Sep 27

dizzleceezy said: Hi, so I'm just finishing up IBTTRY, and saw in the notes there's a link to all the music from the story. However, the link doesn't work anymore. Is there somewhere I could get a list (and perhaps even links) of all the songs mentioned? Thanks! :)

I did have a list at one point, but I am currently in the process of switching/upgrading computers, so it could be on one of my back up harddrives right now. I will look though.  Also, I will look into finding links.  In the meantime, if anybody else has a copy of the song list, please feel free to submit it. :)

Sep 23

Anonymous said: Hi, is there a finished version of The Mating Game?

Nope :(

Sep 15

madnessinthemusic said: I remember one time I found a dropbox link with the small part of ATJ that tmf did finish, though I couldn't give you it. I had it bookmarked before my computer crashed.

Well, there very well could be more of ATJ, but, if I remember correctly, I think that may only be about to eight complete chapters at most.

But you know, new links to TMF stuff pop up all the time, so maybe that dropbox will turn up again.

Also, I am very sorry that your computer crashed! :(